the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
