no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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