Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
