I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
