I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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