So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
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