what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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