Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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