dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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