i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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