It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
