Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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