I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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