We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
