we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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