yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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