When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I wish you could order shots online.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
