OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
