I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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