I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
