He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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