If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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