no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
