I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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