Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
