all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
