My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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