Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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