Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
