The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
