His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You were trust falling into bushes
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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