It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
