U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
