epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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