is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
