new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Randomize
