Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Michael Bay diarrhea
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
