not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
