You're a womanizer and a bitch.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
