TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We need a shit load of segways right now
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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