Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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