It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
