it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
a search helicopter?!
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
