The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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