oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
