woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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