Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
