This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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