am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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