hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
