just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
